Rarely does a week go by without someone in my immediate surroundings telling me I wouldn’t approve of what they ate or drank. “It’s bad” is something I hear a lot, or “I was naughty.”
When we go out for dinner, friends will ask my husband whether he’s allowed this or that – as if he would get into trouble!
Somehow people assume that I eat perfectly – whatever that means.
Let me state for the record that even if there was such a thing as perfection, nothing could be further from the truth.
Often, when people tell me about being “bad” food-wise, they look at me as if they were the fourth grader and I was the schoolteacher about to send them into a time-out in the corner. This guilty look is usually also accompanied by a mischievous little grin, knowing that they got away with it, like the cat that ate the canary.
I don’t much enjoy being in the position of evil Mrs [insert second-grade teacher’s name here], but I cannot take it personally. Instead, I find myself wondering what relationship people are perpetuating with their guilt and what they project onto me.
Yet one more way in which we can use food is to re-enact relationships from our past. The feeling of “being bad” followed by punishment, fear, guilt, disapproval, the wagging finger – all of these are ways in which we choose to return to our childhoods, to following rules, or not.
The main difference is that, as adults, it is in our power to change this tug-of-war between wanting to be good and enjoying the thrill of being bad, to break free from the rules and judgments, to create our own “right” and “wrong” or do away with them altogether. As adults, we have the ability make up our own rules, and when we choose to break them, there is no one there to punish us except our selves. And -- according to some -- the holistic health consultant sitting across the table.
Why is a grapefruit better than a potato? What did the avocado ever do to become such a bad boy? So what if you want to have a packet of crisps from time to time?
Growing up, my lunch often consisted of defrosted fish sticks and canned peas with mayonnaise or some kind of tartar-flavoured sauce. Or sticky cold cuts that tried to pass for meat on white bread. No, don’t call me Saint Picky Foodie; I too have a past. Like everyone else, I choose what I put into my mouth, how much and how often. And like everyone else, sometimes I feel like a curry and sometimes a salad is what does my body good. Some days I want ice cream while others, I prefer almonds or an apple. Some meals are smaller, others large enough to feed me twice.
As long as we’re talking about real food and not chemical, alien substances shaped like food, there is almost no objective “good” or “bad” – Micky D’s and Cousin Coke aside – and one of the worst things we can do for our health is give our meals, those that we choose to put in our bodies, that kind of power.
So please, friends, stop looking to others to tell you what healthy is, what a portion size is, what good food is and bad food is. You’re an adult, you know what works for you and what doesn’t. From time to time, however, we all need a reminder. That’s where The Picky Foodie comes in. So if you need a little help, friends, shoot me an email at Gabriela@thepickyfoodie.com so we can work together to find what works best for you. Just don’t expect me to show up with a list of rules, shaking my head with my hands on my hips.
Be well and enjoy,
Gabriela
P.S. Food is like the weather in the UK: every day is a new adventure. For a different kind of salad, take a look at this recipe involving kelp noodles in a tahini and miso dressing in The Friday Night Dinner Blog.
P.P.S. Ladies of London, come be part of this wonderful workshop in March and April – there are still a few spots left to fill!
Comments
Post has no comments.