On Life As A Picky Foodie

Happy 2012 everyone!

There's a book I love to read to Vida Lev.  In it, the world becomes a relatively small, very nature-oriented planet where the birth of a child is passed on from creature to creature until gradually everyone is ready to welcome a new being onto this earth.  Beautiful, no?  And about as far away from our technocratic, virtual world as it's possible to be.

We live far removed from one another and while physical distance is easier to bridge than ever -- my daughter knows the word Skype already, and knows that it means we will be seeing her grandmother on the computer screen -- local relationships sometimes feel trickier to manage.  

The other day, a woman I follow on twitter was commenting how distant she feels from her Facebook friends.  I have to admit that I completely understand her.  My Facebook page is personal and everyone on there are people I have met face to face and have felt some kinship to at one point or another -- from pre-school to high school, from El Salvador to Ojai, these are people I supposedly know.

And yet, I often find these "friends" and I have little in common.  Sometimes I am even offended by their postings -- apparently, in addition to lovely and kind people,  I am also "friends" with fascists, bigots, racists and chauvinists.  (I'm shuddering right now, by the way.)

When I was first introduced to twitter, I rejected it completely.  Enough, I said, no more social media.  But seeing as The Picky Foodie won't grow legs and walk the earth without some help, I decided to give it a shot.  And the results were astounding.  Though I haven't met most of my twitter peeps -- with some wonderful exceptions like the delightful Molly of The Particular Kitchen and Mona of Wise Words -- I find we have so much more in common than I do with so many of my "friends" on Facebook.

Today is my three-month veganiversary.  While many assume I have been vegan for yonks, I wasn't ready to take the official step until this year, October 12th, to be exact.  My 35th birthday.  Will I be vegan forever?  Who knows!  But for now, I'm enjoying the feeling of not eating animal products (with the exception of the occasional bit of honey), experimenting with plant-based proteins, and eating in a way that is more in line with my values.

While I took this step on my own, I have found inspiration in so many blog posts, recipes and experiences shared by the people I have found on twitter.  What can I say?  It does truly take a village.  Here are my  3 faves:

-  Gena Hamshaw at Choosing Raw -- hilariously, when I went to her website to double check the spelling of Gena's last name, I found a recent recipe for  a similar kind of bread and just like me, she found that while the loaf is good, it's probably closer to the taste of a health-food-foodie (in fact, I think I'll try hers next).  Nutritionist, future super-power MD, Gena is a wiz in the kitchen and knows truck-loads about health as well as recovering from Eating Disorders.  Love her!  

-  Seyward Rebhal's Bonzai Aphrodite -- totally fabulous, totally fun, totally unique, totally vegan.  I return to this site again and again, for inspiration and because Seyward is just totally awesome.  

-  Kris Carr's Crazy Sexy website-- This woman has makes living with incurable disease look glamorous.  She's the rock star of healing with food and healthy living.  Think attitude isn't important when it comes to kicking Cancer's ass?  Check out Kris, her amazing story and her wonderfully informative website.  

Through these and other sites I visit regularly, I will occasionally stumble on a one-off wild card recipes by people I haven't heard of before.  Blog posts passed and retweeted, about foods and recipes I'm delighted to play with as well.  And so too with the original recipe for this moist apple bread by Wendakai.  In my gluten-free, mostly grain-free life, I sometimes crave bread and sometimes long for cake.  This recipe falls somewhere between sweet and mildly savory, between bread and cake.  Does that make it a loaf?  

Anyway, the first mouthful took me back to the night I gave birth to Vida Lev. After we had cleaned up, my baby had fed for the first time and we were all happily cuddling in bed, Elke and Sandesh, the amazing midwives, asked me what I wanted to eat.  By then it was one in the morning and I hadn't had any food for close to twelve hours.  "Be careful what you ask for," Elke said, "because you will remember this for the rest of your life."  She was right: the slice of toasted bread DW had baked for me the day before with almond butter and fig spread is something I still dream of.

And when this lovely little loaf came out of the oven, as my beautiful daughter slept in the next room, I slathered a nice slice in almond butter and topped it with fig spread and a touch of nostalgia.

May this year bring health, happiness, joy and may you dance in the sunshine.

With love,

Gabriela

Gluten Free, Vegan Apple Spice Bread

1 c whole garfava flour (a mixture of garbanzo and fava bean flour available from Bob's Red Mill)

1/2 c millet flour

1/4 c almond flour

2 t gluten free baking powder

1 1/2 t cinnamon

1/2 t ginger powder

1/2 c date sugar

2 T mesquite (optional)

1/4 t sea salt (optional)

1 flax egg (if you need instructions on how to properly make one, Bonzai Aphrodite has great instructions here)

3/4 c apple sauce

juice of 1 lemon (about 1/4 c)

1/2 c water

Instructions:  Preheat the oven to 350 Fahrenheit (about 175 Centigrade)

In a large bowl, mix the dry ingredients: flour, baking powder, spices, salt

Add the wet ingredients and mix well.

Bake for about 50 minutes.

This loaf if great toasted though, as I mentioned before, it might not be for everyone.  

There's a great story of my mother, who has always baked "different" (read: healthy) things, taking a zucchini bread to a picnic once.  The husband of a friend of hers couldn't get enough of it -- he just loved it.  Until my mother told him what it was made of and he found he suddenly didn't like it anymore. 

Afterwards he politely requested that my mother never reveal what she put in her lovely baked goods again. 

Somewhere along the way, I lost my sense of direction.  The map I had drawn got washed along with my favourite flea market jeans.  I was sixteen and couldn’t remember where I was supposed to turn to get where I wanted to go.

The first time I revealed to someone I loved and trusted that I wanted to be a writer, I took what was, for me, a huge leap of faith.  It was a deep and scary revelation that took all of my courage.  Their response broke my heart:

“Why would you want to do that?” they said with a chuckle that felt like a smack across my cheek, “you can’t make a living at it, and besides, who would be interested in anything YOU have to say?”

Though I am no longer in contact with this person, their words shut me down for years.  Unable to get past the question about who my audience would be, I froze – I didn’t have the answer and couldn’t muster the guts to find out.  Because what if they were right and nobody read my words?  I couldn’t bear the thought of pouring my soul onto the page and having it be rejected.  

Though I was able to get that person out of my life, their words continued to haunt me.  To this day, when I’m struggling with my writing, I can hear that familiar voice telling me I’m not good enough.  With time, I have learned to recognize it for what it is.  And now, after years of hiding and procrastinating, I have finally decided to take that leap once more. 

The kitchen is my sanctuary.  It’s where I go when I’m sad or angry or frustrated.  It’s my safe place.  Somehow, I seem to have more courage in the kitchen.  Because here’s the thing: I am a terrible baker.  My cakes, gluten-free and vegan, come out crumbly or hard, too gummy or not sweet enough.  Sometimes – believe it or not – my cakes come out all of the above, and it takes a certain talent to make a cake that is both crumbly and gummy!

I guess with cake as with fiction, it’s about accepting that your first draft will probably be terrible.  In fact, it’s supposed to be terrible.  Not that that’s easy to admit to yourself or pleasant to hear or acknowledge.  But only by doing something over and over, by ripping it to shreds and really analysing what needs to be improved can you get good.  Like writing.  Or baking.

Recently I have been spending a lot of time on Jennifer Perillo’s blog.  When I saw this cake, although, as I say, my baking leaves a lot to be desired, I decided I had to attempt it -- Picky Foodie style of course.

The result? 

I’m pretty sure I will bake better cakes in the future.  But I’ve definitely done worse.  It wasn’t too gummy or too crumbly and it wasn’t too hard.  Amazingly, it stayed together quite well in that you can pick up a piece and comfortably take a bite without losing half of it along the way.  It could possibly have been a little sweeter -- the kind of cake you could have for breakfast or for dessert -- and I suspect it will complement DW’s afternoon tea really well.

Best of all?  I love the feeling of having another draft under my belt and my baking seems to have really improved in that my raspberry cake was at least edible.  I’m going to make this one again, try for better, keep working towards that elusive perfect Picky Foodie cake.

Calorie-wise, at least, I think writing will be easier than baking.  So there’s another reason to give this fiction thing another shot.  In the mean time, however, I think I’ll go brew some rosehip and hibiscus tea and cut myself another little piece.  

Raspberry Cake
(adapted from Jennifer Perillo’s Raspberry Olive Oil Cake)

Makes one 10-inch cake

2 cups Bob’s Red Mill gluten free All Purpose flour
¼ cup coconut sugar
1 T maple syrup
2 t baking powder
¼ t coarse salt
2 T ground flax seeds briefly soaked in 2 T water
1 T melted coconut oil (and a little more to grease the pan)
2 t vanilla extract
½ cup coconut milk
2 c frozen raspberries
1 mashed banana

Preheat the oven to 350 Fahrenheit / 175 Centigrade

Sift together the dry ingredients.

Whisk together the wet ingredients, leaving out the raspberries.

Combine the two and then fold in the raspberries.

Grease a 10 inch round cake pan with a little coconut oil and then pour in the batter.  Bake for 45 minutes.  Allow to cool slightly and then remove the cake from within the cake pan but keep the bottom. 

Once the cake has cooled down completely, indulge in a piece and wait for the muse to find you.

This has been the year of the baby.   Everyone I know, it seems – including me – has had one.  Or maybe it’s because I was attending crazy things like preggo yoga, that suddenly my life was filled with bulging bellies and talk about sleep positions and cravings.

Anyhoo, that isn’t my point.  My point is cake. 

All of these babies are marking milestones, having birthdays, and generally celebrating; as are their parents.  I have attended many a little party this year with sproglets who are barely walking wearing funny hats, doing funny dances, looking surprised as everyone around them bursts into song.  And eating cake.  Store bought cake, home made cake, improvised cake, pre-ordered cake.  Cake. 

This past weekend was my own baby’s birthday.  It was a weekend I’ll never forget.  We went to the zoo so she could see all the animals we read about.  We had a picnic with friends of all ages – and little Vida Lev made out like a bandit from all their generous gifts.

But again, I digress.  The subject is cake. 

We mark milestones with cake.   We eat cake on birthdays.  We celebrate with cake.

And although these little people still have developing taste buds, we feed them cake and start them down the path of cake.  Cake for “well done.”  Cake for “congratulations.” Cake for “s/he’s a jolly good fellow.”  Why?  Why are foods that aren’t healthy, don’t fortify or nutrify us considered “treats”?  It would be one thing if we felt great after indulging but, more often than not, we feel guilty, or worse. 

Why do we do it to ourselves and why do we do it to our children? 

Vida Lev is one year old.  She would celebrate with avocado if that was on offer.  Or a great afternoon at the zoo.   In Vida’s world, food doesn’t yet come into the equation as a way of celebrating.

For her party, I felt stuck in a little bit of a catch 22: do I make a cake and start her down that path – a path she has no idea exists – or do I resist the urge and feel like I’m depriving her?

One thing I’ve noticed about motherhood is that there is rarely a blatantly “right” answer.  I’m constantly wondering whether I am scarring her for life J.

But we were talking about cake…

In the end, I did make cake.  Raw, vegan, carrot cake sweetened with dates and a touch of coconut nectar.  And raw vegan chocolate chip cookies.  So yes, it could have been worse.  But still, when I think of how Vida’s first taste of a sugary food took place on the day we celebrated her arrival into the world, I cringe a little.

(by the way, if you’re still wondering whether sugar really is THAT bad, take a look at this New York Times article)

In my better moments, I savour the knowledge that she loved her day, and loved that people kept singing to her, and her cookies and cake.  In moments of doubt, I remember that she was a little more hyper that day (could have been as a result of all the presents and attention, could also have been the sugar, could have been both) and a little grumpier the next. 

Mostly, I wonder over and over why we enjoy making ourselves feel bad, or worse, causing actual harm to our health when we’re supposed to be celebrating?

That cake question, by the way, easily translates to alcohol.  Adults often mark occasions and celebrations by getting extremely drunk.  The next day, they complain bitterly, but there seems, to me, to be an underlying sense of pride.  I got shitfaced, how great am I?  How, I ask myself, does that say hip hip hooray to the greatness of life?     

Why doesn’t a green smoothie serve the same purpose?  It’s sweet, it’s intoxicating (in the broader sense of the term), and it does a body good.  I know … it doesn’t do it for me either… (I blame the media – or maybe the Pope)

But this isn’t a post about alcohol.  Or even green smoothies.  It’s a post about cake.  I made cake.  So here are the recipes for the cake and cookies I made on Vida Lev’s birthday.

Please note that these are not my original but rather great recipes ones that I found and adapted.  The internet is a new mother’s best friend after all!

Vida Lev’s first birthday treats

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cookies
(makes about 50 silver dollar-sized cookies)
(adapted from www.ohsheglows.com)

For the cookie dough:
1 ¾ cups raw cashews
1 ½ cups raw oats
¼ cup coconut nectar
2 t vanilla powder
¼ cup melted coconut oil

For the chocolate chips:
1/8 cup melted coconut oil
¼ cup melted cacao butter
½ cup cacao powder (unsweetened)
1 ½ T carob liquid (unsweetened)
2 t vanilla powder
3/4t lucuma (optional)
2 T coconut nectar

To make the chocolate chips:  Melt the coconut oil and cacao butter in a bain de marie.  Once it’s completely liquid, stir in the cacao powder followed by the carob, vanilla, lucuma and coconut nectar.  Spread onto a teflex sheet or some greaseproof paper, making sure the thick, sticky mixture is relatively uniform and no thicker than about half an inch.  Put in the fridge (if you have more time) or freezer to set.

To make the dough:  Grind the nuts and oats in the food processor until you get a powder.  Then add the other ingredients and process until a sticky ball forms.  Refrigerate until you can make the cookies (when the chocolate is ready).

For the cookies:  When the chocolate has set, chop into small pieces (or chips, if you will).  With you hands, fold into the dough – this is when the refrigeration is helpful as the chips won’t melt as quickly though you do have to be relatively fast.

You can use a small ice cream scoop to create relatively uniformly sized cookies.  Press down with a fork.  Keep refrigerated until they’re ready to serve.

Note: If you don’t have ingredients like coconut nectar, I’m sure you can replace this with maple syrup, date syrup or honey.  The lucuma is optional, as if the carob though I love the extra depth it lends to the chocolate.  And if you don’t have cacao butter handy, I would play around with the quantities of coconut oil and cacao powder.

Raw Carrot Cake with Vanilla Macadamia frosting
(adapted from Twobluelemons.com)

For the cake:
 4 cups shredded carrots (about 1.5 lbs)
1 cup pitted dates (about 16)
¾ cup dried, unsulphered apricots
1 ½ cups unsweetened shredded coconut
½ cup raisins
1 t vanilla (the original recipe calls for cinnamon, but Vida has had a bad reaction to it)
¼ t nutmeg
¼ t allspice

For the frosting:
¾ cup raw cashews, soaked overnight
¾ cup raw macadamias, soaked overnight
1.5 T coconut nectar
1 T melted coconut oil
3 T water

To Make the cake:
Grate the carrots using the grater attachment in the food processor.  Then transfer to a large mixing bowl. 
In the food processor, using the blade attachment, combine the dates, apricots until combined.  Mix in with the shredded carrots (best done by hand)
Once again, using the food processor, combine ½ cup coconut with the raisins and pulse until they are broken into little bits. Add the spices and pulse until well mixed then combine in the mixing bowl with the carrot, etc.
Kneed well with your hands until it’s all mixed and sticks together well.  Then spread onto an 8 ½ x 12 inch (21.5 x 30 cm) baking tray lined with greaseproof paper and refrigerate.

To Make the frosting:
Soak the cashews and macadamias overnight. Drain and rinse.  Process with 3 T water until a thick paste forms (this could take a while – keep scraping down the sides).   Meanwhile melt the coconut oil in a Bain de Marie.  Once the nuts are fully smooth, add the other ingredients and process briefly.

Spread the frosting over the cake and refrigerate until ready to serve.