On Life As A Picky Foodie

This week, New York passed a law legalizing gay marriage.

Like most people I know and love, I am overjoyed.  But I also have a personal reason to celebrate.

When I was growing up, gay was weird, scary, a name the meaner kids hurled at you to indicate there was something wrong with you.

My father is gay.

He never came out to me.  Instead, I found out by accident, when reading a book – one of those teenage coming-of-age novels where the parents are divorced and the protagonist is trying desperately to figure out where she fits in.  The father in the book had a best friend who was always coming over – just like my Dad – and, much like my father’s buddy, the best friend was an excellent cook.  At the end of the story, the girl’s dad admits that Greg is more than just a friend…

I couldn’t just come out and ask him though.  My father wasn’t that kind of person.

Two years passed.  I studied every reaction, made note of anything that could hint at some kind of clear-cut answer.  Was that hug they shared a little too close?  Why was the best friend using his spoon to give my Dad a taste of his dinner?  As a child, I loved the Harriet the Spy series, and now I had a chance to use those skills for my own research. Sadly, Harriet ends up losing all her friends and as he felt me watching him, my father became increasingly uncomfortable.  Our relationship became fraught, difficult.  He blamed my adolescence but I know now that it was to do with the secret I was making it more and more difficult for him to keep.

(even today, as I write these words, I still feel a chill running up my spine)

Secrets were popular when I was growing up.  Around me everyone had secrets:  secret lovers in other cities, secret children with former flames or personal assistants.  Somehow, though, sexuality was different. 

“I wouldn’t talk like that,” a kid in my seventh grade class retorted when I told him to shut up, “if MY father was like yours.”

The rumour mill in my hometown is a Monster.  Created by bored housewives and perpetuated by their husbands and best friends, it has a life of its own.  Constantly starving for new prey, this Beast feeds off the weak, the deceived, the deceptions. 

My father, forbade me from telling anyone.  I was completely alone bar the one person I confided in.  When someone else hinted at it, I attacked my confidante thinking she had betrayed my trust.

Then there was the day I read a story in Time magazine, written by a girl my age who had sewn a square on the AIDS quilt in memory of her father.  It was a tiny sidebar, a barely noticeable post scriptum, but it changed my life. There were two of us!   

Growing up in a small community was hard for someone like me.  From day 1, I was an outsider – having moved at age six, there was only my mother, my father, my brother and I, when almost everyone else seemed to be related.  I didn’t fit in.  And then there was our family secret.  It took me a long time to find out that everyone knew because nobody talked about it.

The problem with secrets is that the people keeping them are always the last to know when it’s not longer a secret.  You are afraid of every word that comes out of your mouth, of even accidentally alluding to what you know you shouldn’t. You become obsessed with the one thing that’s off-limits. Everything sounds like it could be a tip-off.  

It’s so clear now how deeply this secret affected me and the course of life. 

Secrets are the opposite of healthy.  They sit like a knot in your stomach, clamping down on your digestive system and your ability to openly love. 

My first period, which I got while on vacation with my dad. The time(s) when my boyfriends were older than his. The tasteless meals, the charred BBQs, the people I met, the Thanksgiving when he wore a blue shirt with white stars and red and white striped suspenders. The words he uses when referring to my mother or women in general.  His obsession with cars and expressions like "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink." All of these things are about him, what kind of person he is, what kind of father he is. If you know my father, you know what I'm talking about. But none of this has to do with his sexual preference. And it's about time people realized it.

So I rejoiced this week for New York City.  Because allowing people to get married – regardless of gender, age, class, sexual preference -- is the right thing to do.  But also because I hope and pray that no one ever again needs to grow up with the burden of keeping the kinds of secrets I did, not for their parents, not for themselves.

I leave you with this celebratory green smoothie.

Pride Green Smoothie

Ingredients:
-  1 cup frozen raspberries
-  3/4 cup frozen blueberries
-  1 frozen banana
-  1 handful spicy rocket (arugula)
-  ¼ cup water or more (you need enough so the blender can do its job but this mixture needs to remain thick like ice cream so add 1 T at a time)
-  1 t cacao nibs and coconut flakes (to sprinkle on top, optional)

Instructions:
Blend greens and the water until completely broken down.  Then add the frozen fruit and blend until a thick ice cream like texture forms – you want to do this as fast as possible to ensure it will remain as cold as possible.
Sprinkle cacao nibs and coconut flakes if using.

Go outside, put your feet up, sit in the sun and enjoy with a small spoon, sloooooowly.

Hello, "DW" here.  Lover of all things cappuccino, Pad Thai and Picky Foodie (I’m her husband). I’d like to discuss something today very close to my heart: time, or rather, the lack of it (and how I recently discovered a way of getting more out of the little bit that I do have).

We’re a busy family, and time is at a premium.  I’m a professional writer.  This means that theoretically, I’m the master of my own destiny.  Every day I count my lucky stars that I have no boss, no commute, and any timetable I’m plugged into is usually of my own creation.  

However, on a recent business trip to Los Angeles, that was not the case.

Morning, noon and night, I attended meeting after meeting on a crazy schedule that was dictated by others, planned in exquisite detail.  It felt like boot camp.  Each day had a metronomic regularity to it -- driving, meeting, driving, meeting, looking for a bathroom, driving, meeting, and so on.  At night, I would Skype my much-missed family, collapse into bed, and set my alarm for 6am so I could do it all over again.  

What’s more, I needed energy to be constantly “on,” all day, every day.  There was no margin for error.  

For the first time, the reality of “you are what you eat” made sense to me.   

Eating well while being constantly on the road can be a tall order.  Nutrition often falls by the wayside and in the past, I would more often than not give in to convenience. I had neither the headspace nor the time to plan ahead.  

A typical U.S. gas station sells petroleum products, chewing gum, and high fructose corn syrup in a variety of flavours and temperatures.  It being L.A., taco stands, fast food joints, hot dogs, noodles and burgers beckoned from billboards and signage on every street corner.  Try finding a sandwich that’s not laden with every E number in the additive alphabet, even in ‘upscale’ supermarkets.

Previously, I would have succumbed to these quick fixes.  If I needed a boost before a meeting, I’d have munched on a muffin in the parking lot.  But this trip felt different.  

Over the past few years, with my wife’s help, I’ve started trying to eat more healthy, green foods.  Although I still can’t say that greens are a natural choice for me, I have -- slowly – become aware of the effect they have on my wellbeing.  Last year, on a family trip to California, I found my desire for them had taken a leap forward.  I’m not sure why.  I think a lifetime of food habits don’t disappear overnight.   

This latest business trip proved to be some kind of tipping point.  Suddenly, energy was the premium. So I trusted my instincts, and took a first step.  I had a 'green' day.  Berries and an apple for breakfast, followed by a kelp noodle salad with mixed greens for lunch, a "green power" juice in the afternoon, a salad in the evening sprinkled with nuts, seeds and dried fruit. Even though I knew deep down what would happen, the results surprised me -- I felt fantastic. All day.  I sailed through a tough schedule and negotiated frantic freeway traffic with tons of energy and a clear head.  

For the rest of my stay in L.A., I made it my priority to choose green, veggie and raw as frequently and as plentifully as I could.  

As the days passed, I started to feel what my body needed for consistent, optimum energy. Salads, vegetables, and those amazing raw kelp noodles (they really are insanely delicious) filled me up and kept me alert, satisfied and powering through my day.  I made sure I was sipping lots of water, I put together a healthy trail mix for the car. In fact, I often took a detour in my already car-heavy travel plans to ensure I got a good, green meal.   

And it wasn’t just on the road.  I filled the fridge of the place where I was staying with green juices just in case I was running late in the morning and didn’t have time for a proper breakfast. 

If I'm sounding like a saint here – rest assured, I wasn't. I still had my morning coffee, and I had moments when I simply didn't have the option of eating what and where I would have wanted.  But the equation for me was simple: 

me + more veg = better day all around

Why this change of gear?  It’s my belief that these nutritional upgrades came slowly, through a long-term and continual process.  My life has recently filled up with these tentative steps towards healthier choices.  What I have not been is consistent.

It's not like I don't know the downside.  I know full well that no matter how much I desire a rich, cheesy burrito at lunch, twenty minutes later, I’m exhausted and reaching for an espresso to get me through the afternoon.

It’s taken me months, if not years, to internalise that when I eat more greens and more vegetables in general, I don’t just avoid exhaustion -- I feel positively great.  I’ve known in theory what’s “best” for me, but it’s quite something to actually experience it so profoundly.  

In L.A., I asked myself the same question at every meal: how will this food make me feel afterwards?  How will I feel for the rest of the day?  My choices weren’t about “being good”, or even “eating right”.  They were about “eating smart” and powering through. Finally.

The trip was a great success.  After two weeks, I returned home without the usual fatigue and flu-like symptoms that normally accompany me after periods of stress.  I put that down to my food choices.  (I have to admit that it also helped that, being L.A., the produce was exquisitely delicious.)  

Then, on my return, something began to bug me.  Why don’t I eat this way when my schedule isn’t as tight?  Why can’t I eat such supportive foods when it’s just me? Why don’t I go for greens more often?

Perhaps, the answer is: time.  You can bring a horse to water, but you can’t make it eat watercress.  Not until it knows, from first hand and consistent experience, what that watercress will do for it.  It took me time to realise how good I feel after eating greens and how that affects everything from my ability to concentrate to my relationship with my family, to the smell of my breath and the quality of my sleep.  It has taken me time to actively start seeking out healthy food.  It will take me more time to integrate these changes into my daily routine. But every choice I make, I still ask myself the same question: how will this food make me feel? 

Playing with our little girl every morning, I wish these moments would last forever.  As time goes by, I see how little of it there really is.  This only makes me appreciate the hours I do have and I for one want to squeeze every minute out of every day.  So today, as I go to work, I’d like to make use of the food that I eat to support that goal, make choices that will help me get the work done, live a longer and more vibrant life, so I can be with my family, and play with my daughter some more.    

DW’s Green Breakfast Smoothie
(serves 1 hungry writer – should easily keep him humming until lunch)

-  1 ½ cups liquid (coconut water or homemade hemp mylk*)
-  1 banana
-  1-2 pitted dates, depending on size and sweetness
-  ½ pear (optional)
-  1 T cashew nut butter or a handful of cashews
-  large handful of greens: watercress (a favorite), spinach, butter lettuce, kale (3-4 leaves, stalks removed) – use one kind of greens at a time and be sure to rotate them.
-  1T (rounded) raw cacao
- 1T mesquite
- 1t ionic minerals
- 1t supergreens powder (we use this one in the US and will try this one in the UK when we run out)
- 1/4t ashwaghanda (optional)
- dollop of Omega 3/6/9 oil (optional)

Briefly blend the mylk, fruit and greens.  Then add the rest of the ingredients and blend WELL (there’s nothing worse than a gunky smoothie).

Serve immediately.

*  to make hemp milk, use ½ cup hemp seeds to 1 litre of water.  Blend well.  Keeps up to 3 days in an airtight container in the refrigerator.  You can do this with pretty much any nut or seed.  You can also strain the liquid, depending on personal preference.  I keep it as is so we get the extra fibre.  

DW’s favorite Green Juice
(serves 2 as a non-alcoholic aperitif or a great afternoon pick-me-up)

Juice:
- 3 cucumbers
- 1 lg head of lettuce
- 4 pears
- 1 knob ginger

Drink immediately

Dear Friends;

I was recently reminded in a very real way of how important health is.  If we don’t have our health, nothing else matters.

At 2:30 on Christmas morning, my baby girl woke up screaming.  When I reached over to pick her up, her skin was burning hot and she seemed uncomfortable being touched. 

For the next eighteen hours, DW and I sponged her down, we sang to her, we read every book over and over in an attempt to get her temperature down and make her comfortable.  She was terrified, and when her fever shot up to 40.5 Centigrade (105 Fahrenheit), so were we.  We didn’t eat, we barely spoke.

It was Christmas, but the gifts we had bought for everyone, the food I had cooked for our family meal – suddenly none of it mattered.  The only thing we could think about was getting her well again.

Today, almost a week later, she is back to her self.  She is squawking, chirping, singing, happily eating her apples, oranges and broccoli.  And although neither DW nor I are particularly superstitious, we are knocking on so much wood, I’m starting to see grooves in the furniture.

Over the past seven months, I have questioned everything: Am I overdressing her?  Am I under dressing her?  Am I feeding her too much?  Too little?  Am I starting solids too early?  Too late?  Is she happy?  Am I a good mother?  Is she learning all my bad habits? 

But that day, watching my baby girl in pain, I didn’t doubt or think or analyze.  I simply did.  And feeling her settle in my arms offered a little bit of comfort. 

So here it is, dear friends, the dawn of 2011.  May it be happy, fun-filled, fulfilling, a good laugh, inspired, inspiring, beautiful, surprising.  Most of all, may it be a healthy year for you and your loved ones.

Be well and enjoy

Gabriela

P.S.  Have I mentioned green smoothies before?  Here is the one that has kept me going this week:

Juice:
1 bunch kale or cavalo nero
2 beetroots

Blend the juice with:
2 bananas
1 Tablespoon almond butter
1 T Dr. Schulze's Superfood (optional)
raw honey (optional, to taste – add 1 t at a time as the bananas make this very sweet)

The smoothie tastes very “green” so only adventurous souls should venture here, but it’ll give you energy for hours and hours. 

Dear friends;

This is the story of a little blue hat.  This little blue hat has flecks of brown and grey and beige.  It’s a soft hat, one that looks comfortable, comforting and warm.  The blue in it brings out the colours in my daughter’s eyes. 

Every night, we pull it over her head and my baby girl now knows it’s time for bed. 

This isn’t just any little blue hat, no. 

It’s the little blue hat knitted especially by Auntie V. 

When I told my family I was pregnant, my daughter’s Auntie V immediately got to work on a hat for our unborn child.  There is so much love between those stitches!

So every night, Vida smiles when she feels her little blue hat being pulled over her head.  For our part, we know it will keep her warm because her Auntie V made sure of that.

This holiday season, why not give something you’ve taken the time to make yourself?  Even a card that wasn’t composed by others counts. 

Or here’s an idea: what better way is there to tell people how much you care than with delicious, nutritious food?

Like a sweet, green smoothie.  Here’s a holiday treat to help get those greens into your loved ones (I know it’s not quite a hat, but while I’m only just learning to knit, I’ve got blending down to an art)

Green Holiday Smoothie (vanilla)
(serves 2)

Combine in the blender:

-  1 ½ cups coconut water (you can use plain water if you so desire, simply adjust the sweetness accordingly with some raw honey)

-  3 kale leaves, stalk removed

-  1 banana (peeled)

-  2 satsumas (peeled)

-  2 T almond butter

-  ¼ t cinnamon

-  1/8 t vanilla powder

blend well until smooth and the colour is uniform

The coconut water is full of electrolytes.  The kale – do I really need to talk about the kale?  The banana’s got potassium, the satsumas will give you Vitamin C and help your body with iron absorption.  The almond butter has Vitamin E, good fats, and protein.  The cinnamon is warming, the vanilla soothing and calming.

Now bring on the holidays!

Happy Chwanstmukkah everyone

With love

Gabriela

P.S.  On Life As A Picky Foodie Newsletter is taking the month of December off!  See you all in 2011!

Dear Friends --

Well it’s official – Spring has sprung; and with it -- alongside the flowers -- come bunches, bushels and forests of green.

Green, green and more green!

What do you think is the number one food missing in most people’s diets?

Yup, you guessed it – greens!!!

Green is the colour of spring, it is the colour of life, the colour of renewal.  The green in plants comes from chlorophyll – and the greener the plant, the greater the amount of chlorophyll.  Chlorophyll purifies, rejuvenates, it stops bacterial growth, eliminates odours and bad breath, and de-activates carcinogens, combats inflammation, builds blood, promotes a healthy gut, improves liver function, aids in the production of Vitamins E, A and K -- and that’s only a fraction of what Chlorophyll can do.

But mother nature ain’t no fool: every green plant offers its own unique range of benefits and properties.  In addition, all greens contain a minute amount of toxic alkaloids – and each green plant has its own variation.  So instead of having that same spinach salad for lunch every day, consider rotating your greens.  And there are so many to choose from!  Try some steamed chard, sautéed kale, tangy watercress with avocado, couscous and rocket, romaine on your sandwich. 

Still on the fence?  Well, one tried and tested way to get your greens is to blend them.  Combining greens and fruit can really help soften the blow for even the most reluctant green imbibers.

Need more proof of how amazing greens are?  My husband doesn’t need his cup of coffee on mornings when he has a green smoothie.  You may not know him, but trust me, that’s saying something. 

To get you inspired, here is my current favorite:

Blue Crush

(adapted from “Becoming Raw” by Brenda Davis, RD and Vesanto Melina, MS, RD with Rynn Berry)

1 ¼ cups water
1 tablespoon almond butter
2 tablespoons hemp seeds
1 cup frozen blueberries
½ bunch watercress or 1 bunch rocket
1 banana

Blend thoroughly and drink immediately.  

With love and crocuses,

Gabriela

P.S.  Have you secretly been lusting after a casserole for decades now?  Well lust no further!  That elusive nineteen fifties icon is back in style!  Check out my recipe for a white bean and parsnip version in this week's happily-ever-after Friday Night Dinner Blog.

P.P.S. Thanks to all of you who sent along friends.  Keep 'em coming!  The free Picky Foodie one-on-one counselling session offer is still valid for the next little while.  Here's a reminder of how it works: get five friends, co-workers, family members or strangers to sign up to the On Life As A Picky Foodie newsletter, and you will receive a free forty-five minute consultation with yours truly.  Simply ask anyone signing up to email me and let me know your name. 

Greetings Lovebugs!

It’s Valentine’s Day and I thought I would celebrate us all by sending out a special, loved-up green smoothie recipe. 

Let me ask you this: why is it that we choose to celebrate something as beautiful and life-affirming as L-O-V-E with insane amounts of sugar, processed and fatty foods? No wonder we all get blood-rushing, heart-pumping crazed on Valentine’s Day!

Why not choose to underscore the beauty that is life with foods that do our bodies good? 

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: fresh, whole foods made with true love don’t just feed our cells, they also make our souls, our emotions, our brains happy -- and they do so in a deeper, more sustained way than the mass-produced so-called special-occasion indulgences that last for all of thirty seconds. 

The notion that healthy food can’t be delicious, decadent and satisfying is a myth.

On this, the pinkest day of the year, why not choose to truly feed and fête the heart in every way -- not just the poetic sense.  Because our health is really the prerequisite for any celebration. 

L’Chaim – Love of Life Green Smoothie

Large handful of greens – lamb’s lettuce (mache) or spinach

2 oranges

3 T sesame seeds

2 T hemp seeds*

2 cups coconut water**

1/4 cup raisins

¼ t vanilla (preferably alcohol-free or powder)

Start by blending the coconut water and greens until there are no bits left. 

Then add the rest of the ingredients and blend well.

Serves two people who want to celebrate together, three who want to share the love, or one person who loves their Self very much. 

* Hemp seeds are a fantastic source of fibre, essential fatty acids, and protein.  They are a seed, not a leaf and so will NOT get you high.  They are a great addition to granola, smoothies and salads – however, they are best eaten raw and unheated to retain optimal nutritional value.  Look for the hulled seeds.

** Coconut water is a tropical food so is not local to the Northern hemisphere and can be quite cooling to those of us who strive to keep warm in the winter.  However, coconut water is also packed with vitamins, minerals and electrolytes.  Known as nature’s isotonic drink (or nature’s Gatorade, if you prefer), it can help to re-hydrate after a workout, boost the immune system, balance the body’s Ph, cleanse the digestive tract and improve metabolism.  Of course fresh is best, but for those of us who don’t live on an island in Thailand (or in Venice, CA or Lower Manhattan), look for the commercial packaged brands available in most health food stores. 

With love and Ojai oranges,

Gabriela

P.S.  I received many emails following my first green smoothie recipe featured in the Leon newsletter last month.  People wanted more.  Thank you all for reaching out and asking for what you wanted.  Please continue to do so.  You can email me at Gabriela@thepickyfoodie.com, leave comments in the Friday Night Dinner Blog or in the On Life As A Picky Foodie newsletter archive. Thanks for all the love, you guys!